Yesterday, a week after learning that our Baby A’s rate of growth seems to be dropping off due to her having a two-vessel cord, we were finally given a tentative plan for the timing of our babies’ births.
After yesterday’s routine non-stress test (which went well!), I stopped by the perinatologist’s office to inquire as to whether she had consulted with my OB. To my surprise, I got the opportunity to actually speak with her briefly and found out that she had indeed passed her recommendation on to my OB group last week, but the information had apparently not yet made its way back to my specific doctor (which is why he didn’t know anything at Friday’s appointment). I told her that my doctor would probably be contacting her to discuss the possibility holding off on the C-section another week, and she said that depending on what this Thursday’s ultrasound shows, that could be a definite possibility. She went on to say that she suspects we will be able to hold off another week, but she needs to see another ultrasound to make sure. Basically, we need to see an adequate amount of growth in Baby A since the time of our last ultrasound to ensure that waiting another week is in her best interest. I left the perinatologist’s office both encouraged by her optimism and a bit confused by her change of tune. After all, last week she had been dead-set on ending this pregnancy at 36 weeks (this coming Friday) and had even said that nothing would make her change her mind.
Later in the day I got a call from the perinatologist’s nurse and found out that she had called my OB and that they had come up with a tentative plan. They had agreed that if this Thursday’s ultrasound looks okay, we will schedule a C-section for next Thursday, May 28th (my doctor’s closest on-call day to me being 37 weeks). But if the ultrasound shows cause for concern and indicates the need for an as-soon-as-possible Cesarean, our babies will be delivered this Thursday after the ultrasound.
For the past week we have been praying for wisdom and clear guidance; and when Travis and I talked yesterday about how my upcoming days should be conducted, we agreed that between now and Thursday I should be resting and eating lots of protein in hopes of boosting Baby A’s growth and thereby buying us another week. However, we are praying that if our babies do indeed need to be born this week that labor will start on its own (before Thursday!) and in spite of my not taking measures to naturally induce it.
Somehow, despite all the uncertainty surrounding us, God has given me peace that surpasses all comprehension (Phil 4:6-7). My desires for a natural childbirth and for babies too strong and healthy for the NICU have not changed; yet somehow, in the face a possible Cesarean and the birth of a baby too small to avoid the NICU, God has given me peace. I don’t understand it, but I have it; and I am thankful. I continue to cling to the certainty of His character and to His promises, knowing that nothing is impossible for Him, knowing that His purpose will prevail, knowing that He is not bound by my circumstances, and knowing that He hears my prayers and cares for my concerns. Instead of being anxious, I have purposed to continue to make my requests known to Him and to thank Him. Instead of worrying, I have purposed to believe Him. Instead of trusting in our plan, I have purposed to trust in His plan, whatever that may be. No matter what happens, may God be glorified.