I’ve been realizing lately that I need to rethink–and revamp–some of my Mommy behaviors. There have been a few things that have triggered these realizations: our recent sermon series on the home, the birth of my twin daughters which quickly propelled me from Mommy of Two to Mommy of Four, the recognition of some of my own sinfulness in my children, the realization that my kids are growing up no matter how much I do or don’t invest in them. These things (and probably others) have made me realize that some “Me” changes are in order.
Pastor Todd’s spring teaching series on the home was taken from Psalm 128, and it was his teaching about the “vine” in verse 3 (“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house…”) that still sticks in my mind: as a vine runs along the ground and reaches into many areas, so is a woman’s influence within her home. This left me pondering, How far-reaching is my vine? Am I covering all the ground that I should be covering? Or are there some corners in my home that I’m failing to reach?
When Isabel and Elliana were born in May, I suddenly became a Mommy of four. It was like adding two more children to our quiver suddenly upped the ante. I kept thinking (and still am), What a high calling…. The Lord has entrusted me with four lives. I better get this right….
As Abel and Amariah continue to get older–and as the sin nature continually becomes apparent in them–I have at times witnessed behavior sin that makes me feel as though I’m looking in a mirror… and it’s not a pretty sight. Pride, selfishness, disrespect…. What kind of example am I setting for my children?
The latest thing I’ve realized is the excessive number of times in a day I say “No” to Abel and Amariah’s requests. “No, not right now.” “No, I’m busy.” “No, we’re not going to do that.” It’s not that “No” is always an unacceptable answer, but I’m realizing that often times my reason for saying “No” is based only in my own selfishness or laziness. Is it right for me to say “No” to playdough just because I don’t want another mess to clean up? Is it right for me to say “No” to drawing with markers just because I don’t want to take the time to oversee it? About a week ago, Abel got out the glue stick that Travis bought him a couple months ago (still un-used due to Mommy’s many “No”s) and asked if we could do a craft. When I said, “No, we’re not going to use glue right now,” Abel started crying and said, “But Mommy, Daddy bought this for me to use.” Well, you’ve got a point there, I thought. And then I realized, My selfish “No”s are hurting my children. I have to start investing more of myself in them. (Needless to say, we did our first craft project–with glue–that night.)
When I consider the importance and impact of my influence within my home and the degree to which God has entrusted me with His children–and when I see my own failures and shortcomings–I can’t help but desire to be a better Mommy. I am becoming more conscious of my own attitudes and behaviors. I am becoming more purposeful about spending time with my children. I am becoming more careful to have good reasons to say “No.” And I am nourishing myself in the Word so that I in turn might nourish my family and my home. I definitely don’t “have it all together” (and probably never will!), but I pray that God will help me to become the wife and Mommy He desires for me to be.