This morning I was standing in my bedroom folding my mountain of laundry, and as I looked out the window at the snow falling to the ground, I thought to myself, I’m okay with this.
The theme of my life for the last 8 1/2 months has been, “It’s just a season.” Remember when I said I was falling apart just to hold it together? Life with twins has definitely required some temporary changes. The most major of those changes has been that I have had to be more tied to the home. (Let’s face it – going places with two nursing babies just isn’t as easy as going places with one.) It’s not that I wasn’t committed to my home before the twins were born; it’s just that I had more flexibility to get out when I wanted or needed to.
Don’t get me wrong – I am totally content with my circumstances. But there are times when I have to remind myself, It’s just a season. And it’s at those times that my very next thought tends to be, Maybe next year….
Last summer I really wanted for us to go to our church’s family camp. But when we thought through the logistics of taking two 2-month old babies who were still nursing – and then napping – every three hours around the clock, we said, “Maybe next year….”
This past December when it came time to do our Christmas shopping, I really wanted to be the one to go shopping. But when we realized that it would be more work for me than it was worth, we said, “Next year….”
When I learned that some new women’s Bible studies were getting under way at our church this month, I really wanted to join one. But when I considered that the babies’ bedtime routine falls right in the midst of the group’s meeting time, I said, “Maybe next year….”
But today, in spite of those few momentary disappointments that have come from our need for me to just stay home, it was in that moment when I looked at the snowy world on the other side of the window that I really realized just how okay I am with being tied to the home. I love being a mommy. I love that the Lord has blessed my husband with a job that provides for our needs so that I can stay at home and be a mommy. And I love the four little people who make me a mommy. I am blessed beyond measure, I’m a little tied down, and I’m okay with that… because I’m right where I want to be.