I’m Okay With This

This morning I was standing in my bedroom folding my mountain of laundry, and as I looked out the window at the snow falling to the ground, I thought to myself, I’m okay with this.

The theme of my life for the last 8 1/2 months has been, “It’s just a season.” Remember when I said I was falling apart just to hold it together? Life with twins has definitely required some temporary changes. The most major of those changes has been that I have had to be more tied to the home. (Let’s face it – going places with two nursing babies just isn’t as easy as going places with one.) It’s not that I wasn’t committed to my home before the twins were born; it’s just that I had more flexibility to get out when I wanted or needed to.

Don’t get me wrong – I am totally content with my circumstances. But there are times when I have to remind myself, It’s just a season. And it’s at those times that my very next thought tends to be, Maybe next year….

Last summer I really wanted for us to go to our church’s family camp. But when we thought through the logistics of taking two 2-month old babies who were still nursing – and then napping – every three hours around the clock, we said, “Maybe next year….”

This past December when it came time to do our Christmas shopping, I really wanted to be the one to go shopping. But when we realized that it would be more work for me than it was worth, we said, “Next year….”

When I learned that some new women’s Bible studies were getting under way at our church this month, I really wanted to join one. But when I considered that the babies’ bedtime routine falls right in the midst of the group’s meeting time, I said, “Maybe next year….”

But today, in spite of those few momentary disappointments that have come from our need for me to just stay home, it was in that moment when I looked at the snowy world on the other side of the window that I really realized just how okay I am with being tied to the home. I love being a mommy. I love that the Lord has blessed my husband with a job that provides for our needs so that I can stay at home and be a mommy. And I love the four little people who make me a mommy. I am blessed beyond measure, I’m a little tied down, and I’m okay with that… because I’m right where I want to be.

3 Comments

  1. Jenilee says:

    I can relate. I don’t have nursing twins, but I did have a just 3 yr old, a 1 yr old and a nursing newborn. They are older now and there are still days that I just have to be content staying at home. And, I’m ok with that too. It does get easier to go out but being a mommy will mean sacrificing for many years. I’m so thankful that God teaches us about our heart through our kids! Great post!

  2. Stefanie says:

    Your post came a good time. Just this morning I was thinking about how jealous I am of Elliot because when Landen got up at 6:40, he stayed in bed while I got up. Then at 9 while I was trying to squeeze in a little more sleep on the couch, Elliot said he was leaving to go to the shop to work on some of his projects. I felt jealous of him this morning because he can “escape” for a while I’m home and can barely manage to get a shower let alone even consider a project I want to work on. I still feel like I need some time away from my kids for a while, but you encouraged me to try to be more ok with just staying home and being Mommy. Thanks!

  3. September says:

    Great Post Angela. You are really going to enjoy the years to come, since you are able yo fgind peace in the midst of these growing and nurturing years. I am so thankful for reading your blog,, your post was truly inspiring and encouraging, and I know that you will bless the hearts of many moms though your words of honest and truthful words.
    Keep pressing on!~