I know that I know that I do not know.… (But God does!)
It turns out that I spoke too soon. My “Break” Time has been postponed. A few hours after my blog posted yesterday morning, Travis’ mom called to say that she had come down with the flu overnight. Although she was already feeling better and was still willing to take the kids, we decided it would be best for everyone if we delayed their trip to Grandma and Grandpa Squires’ house.
It’s funny that our plans ended up getting changed at the last minute, because even though things seem to always fall right into place for the kids’ visits to their granparents’ houses, this time I was thinking–even as I was excitedly writing about my anticipated “break” time—“…IF the Lord wills.”
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)
I had never done much of my planning with the contingency that it would happen “if the Lord wills” until recently when God used a series of events to remind me that you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow–or even in the next second. Since then, I have (mostly) stopped taking for granted that my plans will come to pass; and this instance of planning to send the kids away for a few days was no different. Life certainly requires the making of some plans and commitments, but life with an eternal outlook involves doing so with the mindset that things may or may not go according to our plans.
Do you ever allow yourself to wonder why God sometimes allows things to happen a certain way? I certainly do (in an awestruck sort of way)! I believe that our God, who is near and personal, divinely works in the details of our lives in ways and for reasons unbeknownst to us. As I was thinking yesterday about our sudden change of plans, I began to speculate that perhaps there was a bigger reason why the trip was postponed. Would there have been an accident in route? Is there some reason why my kids need to be home with me in the coming few days? Understand that I’m not claiming that such a thing is definitely the case in this instance but instead that I simply enjoy giving God the credit for being intimately involved in our lives. He watches over us, He protects us, and He knows the number of our days. I don’t demand an answer for why things happen the way they do. It is enough for me to know that God knows!
I am thankful that God is continually teaching me to live knowing that I do not know. I do not know how my plans, my life, my circumstances may change in the blink of an eye; and that is great motivation to me to live well in the moments I do have.
And, for what it’s worth, the kids’ trip to their grandparents’ house will still happen in the near future… IF the Lord wills.