Sometimes a fresh start is what I need to feel new again. Before we moved, I was feeling burned out in almost every non-negotiable aspect of my life. Cooking, cleaning, homeschooling… I was going through the motions out of mere obligation, doing just enough to get by.
This had become true even in my spiritual life. I was going to church, attending small group, and praying and reading Scripture with the kids, but I wasn’t doing anything to go deeper on a personal level.
That’s not a fun place to be – lacking passion for almost every responsibility and feeling powerless to find it.
Fortunately, God answers prayer. He loves the prayer that cries out, Change me, God! I can’t do this on my own!
It’s true. I couldn’t reignite in myself a passion for cooking. I couldn’t spark my own contentment with spending four hours a day schooling the kids when I could be doing countless other (less important but easier) things. And I certainly couldn’t light the fire under my spiritual butt that would get me up and running back to regular, sincere devotion.
I needed the Holy Spirit’s power to move beyond the burnout. I would have to cooperate with Him, yes, but change wasn’t happening without divine help.
You never know in what form that help might come, but you can be sure that when you ask for it with pure and honorable motives, it will eventually come.
For me, it looked something like moving the hub of my household to a tiny kitchen, coming through the insane busyness of selling a house, and confessing to my small group that I was flailing in my spiritual disciplines.
All thanks to the power of God and the fresh beginnings only He can provide, passion is slowly returning to me. I’m rediscovering some culinary joy, I’m remembering that homeschooling is my biggest present priority, and I’m reintroducing spiritual discipline through a daily Bible reading plan.
But still I know that I haven’t “arrived.” These hard things of life don’t just come easy. They require a continual choice.
My help has come. Actually, He was there all the while I was trying to work it out on my own. Today, head down and hands up, I choose to move forward in newness. I choose to keep doing my part while letting Him do His. And I choose to give Him the glory for it all.