This past week has been a little weird. The first in about twelve that I haven’t had some expectation or another pressing down on me, I’ve felt so at ease it almost makes me uneasy. A meme someone posted on Facebook captures my predicament perfectly:
Coming off of what has been one of the busiest stretches of my life — preparing a house for market, keeping it in “untouched” condition while living in it with a family of six, and then packing and moving, and all that while still doing the usual duties of a homeschooling mommy — the normal, everyday demands are feeling like nothing.
Carving three to four hours out of my day to homeschool my kids instead of doing countless other things that could be done? It’s nothing. Calling it a day and putting my feet up to watch American Idol with the family a couple nights a week? Nothing. Taking the kids on a walk to the park and sitting there completely focused on them instead of on some double-tasking project (reading, emailing, searching, browsing)? It’s nothing. And everything.
The freedom and release I’m feeling right now means everything. It’s still weird, though. I had to ask myself today, I’m not feeling like I’m on vacation, am I? Living in a different place, short-term, fewer responsibilities, no stress…. Nah, that’s not it. Is it?
I don’t think it is. This place is feeling like home, and… I’m still me. The unnecessary pressure I can’t help but put on myself will be returning, I’m afraid. Soon enough I’ll be stressing over the odds and ends that remain unplaced or worrying about wrapping up the school year or….
So, for now, I’m trying to enjoy the ease — even if I am forgetting everything.