What is going on in this body of mine?! I’m joyful one second, sobbing the next. Last night my husband was trying to show me the affection that I would normally crave, but every time he tried to kiss me I started crying for no apparent reason. Knowing how frustrating it was for me to not have control over my emotions, I can’t imagine how frustrated my husband must have felt. I don’t suppose it feels too good when your spouse busts out in tears at a sincere show of affection. It’s hard for me to understand these emotions, so I would not fault my husband if he is completely baffled. At times I almost feel embarrassed of my tearful displays. There haven’t been many of them, but they always seem to come at the most unexpected and inopportune moments. I’m sure that whatever is going on is just a natural human (okay, maybe just womanly) response to a very painful experience. And I think my husband understands that my sobbing is an involuntary reflection of pain, sorrow, and raging hormones.
Praise God that even through my instability and weakness, He remains constant and strong. I will continue to seek Him as I strive for that endurance which will make me perfect and complete and lacking in nothing (see James 1:2-4).